วันพุธที่ 10 มีนาคม พ.ศ. 2553

How To Talk To Women

Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"

"Why do you say that?" I asked curiously, after all we were sitting down on couches at the VIP section of a popular Hollywood night club.

"They either don't know what to say or they're really creepy," she continued.

"Continue, this is interesting," I asked with sincere curiosity.

"They try too hard to impress me with their job, car, or in some other fashion. It's so played out."

"Well," I asked, "What would your ideal man talk about?"

"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me. If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out."

"C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."

"You see, it's so easy to talk to you!" Angelica exclaimed.

"That's because I'm not trying to get anything from you."

If you want to learn how to talk to women then you should pay very close attention to the conversation I just had with Angelica. She gave us all real insight into what women are looking for when men walk up to them. But there's also a lot she left out and I'm going to fill in some of that gap.

Most attractive women are attention seekers. They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).

The problem most men have when talking to women is that they try way too hard not to make mistakes. They don't want to say the wrong thing. They don't want to make a wrong impression. They fear rejection. They believe that they don't know what to say when it comes to women. None of this is true. The biggest thing that gets inbetween men and women talking is what's going on between your left ear and your right ear.

If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far
easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.

It really is all in your head. Talking to women is as easy as talking to a kid, your friend, or that nice senior citizen. Once I stopped buying into some of societies ridiculous beliefs, such as a really attractive person is better than someone who is not (who judges this anyway?) or that a stranger can actually reject you, then I started having less fear and taking more action.

A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took
was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:

"Hey, I think my dog likes you...."

"This is some tight weather, which way to the beach?"

"Hey there, as you're pumping your gas I noticed that there's a big white bird bomb on the top of your car, you should get that looked at (she giggles)...."

These openers are based on my personality. I just say what comes to mind. I know that if I talk to at least 25 women a week, I'm going to get more conversations going. The more conversations I get going, the more phone numbers I'm going to get. The more phone numbers I get, the more dates I'll
go on.

Start practicing those conversation skills with people that get paid to talk to you. A shopping mall is a perfect spot for this. You can go into department stores, food courts, clothing stores for men, and walk up to the associates / clerks / retail person / etc. and start chatting them up. Talking to women is only as difficult as you make it. Lastly, you've got to practice. Make sure you do not invest any real emotional energy in any approach you make because the person doesn't know you. So by very definition they cannot "reject" you because only people that know you and care about you can reject you.

A stranger can only reject your advances and it's most likely that they weren't in a good mood anyway. So this should make it infinitely easier to start talking with more women. Well, what are you waiting for?

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